Rise Out of Survival Mode and Into the Confident Connected Parent Your Child Needs

Stop trying your hardest every single day and still ending most nights feeling defeated, scared, or unsure what to do next. If you are parenting a child whose needs feel bigger than the tools you have been given, you do not have to figure this out alone anymore. 

Begin your journey from surviving to thriving. Apply now for parent coaching with Devina King

You are in the right place if…

• you feel like you have tried everything and nothing seems to help for more than a day or two

• your child’s emotions, behaviors, or reactions feel bigger than the tools you have

• you end most days feeling defeated, scared, or unsure what to do next

• you are tired of being told to be more consistent, more firm, or more structured when those approaches only make things worse

• your child melts down, shuts down, avoids demands, or becomes overwhelmed by things that seem small to others

• you want to understand what is actually getting in your child’s way instead of reacting to the behavior on the surface

• you want a plan that fits your child’s brain and your own capacity, not someone else’s idea of what parenting should look like

• you want to stop walking on eggshells and start building trust, connection, and skills

• you want support from someone who has lived this, not just studied it

• you want a way forward that feels compassionate, doable, and grounded in real life

Author: Devina King, Occupational Therapist and Certified Autism and ADHD Specialist Last updated: 1/18/2026

Table of contents

• Parent coaching when nothing else has worked: Break cycles of frustration and finally create the calm, connected home your child deserves
• What other parents are saying: Step into a new story by seeing how others rewrote theirs
• Why I offer parenting coaching: I turned our struggle into a roadmap so you don’t have to do it alone
• What makes this coaching different: Heal patterns of disconnection with a coaching model grounded in clinical insight and personal understanding
• Why now matters: Shift your family’s trajectory by acting before burnout and disconnection take deeper root
• What you get in coaching: Equip yourself with tools, strategies, and support that meet your child’s needs and honor your own
• Safe and Sound Protocol add on: Regulate your child’s nervous system and deepen co-regulation through this powerful listening intervention
• Your next step: Step into a new chapter of parenting with clarity confidence and a guide who’s walked this path
• FAQ

Parent coaching when nothing else has worked: Break cycles of frustration and finally create the calm, connected home your child deserves

Many parents come to me after trying everything. Books. Behavior charts. Therapy programs. Advice from well meaning professionals. Endless consistency. And still, the meltdowns keep happening. The mornings keep falling apart. The evenings keep ending in tears. You keep wondering what you are missing.

You are parenting a child whose brain and body are asking for understanding, accommodation, and collaboration, not more pressure or more consequences. And you deserve support that meets you where you are too.

This coaching is for parents of children with big emotions, explosive behaviors, anxiety, demand avoidance, shutdowns, sensory overwhelm, school refusal, or chronic conflict. Some of these children are neurodivergent. Some are not. Diagnosis is optional. What matters is that you feel stuck and want a way forward that finally fits your child and your family.

Together, we move from daily survival to more connection, clarity, and confidence. We work with the brain your child has, not the one someone else expects them to have. And we support your nervous system too, because you matter in this equation.

Takeaway This coaching exists for families who have already tried everything and are ready for an approach that finally fits their child’s needs and their own capacity.

What other parents are saying: Step into a new story by seeing how others rewrote theirs  

It can feel vulnerable to trust someone new with your family’s story. Hearing from other parents who have walked this path can help you feel less alone and more hopeful.

Learning this approach from Ms Devina has transformed my relationship with my child - M. G.

You have been a big piece of our journey. We have seen massive gains with the supports we have been receiving and I wish that more people had access to the resources and support we do.- K. R.

Takeaway These stories reflect what becomes possible when families are given tools that honor their child’s needs and their own capacity.

Why I offer parenting coaching: I turned our struggle into a roadmap so you don’t have to do it alone

My journey into parenting coaching began long before I ever called it that. At 18, my first job was working with an autistic child in a behavior based role. Even then, something felt wrong. I could see how hard he was trying. I could see how much he was communicating through his behavior. And I could see how little space there was for understanding his experience. That early discomfort planted a seed that would grow into a lifelong commitment to doing things differently.

Since 2008, I have worked with children in schools, hospitals, and outpatient clinics as a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, a qualified mental health professional, and now as a pediatric occupational therapist. I have spent years studying the brain, behavior, sensory processing, executive functioning, and neurodiversity affirming care. But my deepest learning did not come from textbooks or certifications.

It came from being a mother.

When my daughter began showing signs of bipolar disorder and anxiety at a very young age, our family entered a period of profound crisis. Her behaviors were explosive and constant. I tried everything I had been taught. Timeouts. Consequences. Behavior charts. Selective ignoring. Being firm. Being consistent. Nothing worked. She was overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed. Her sister was caught in the middle. We were in tears daily, exhausted, burnt out, and terrified for her safety and future.

Then I found The Explosive Child by Dr Ross Greene. His work changed everything. I learned that children do well if they can, and that challenging behavior is not a failure of discipline but a signal of lagging skills and unmet needs. I stopped trying to control my daughter and started partnering with her. We used collaborative problem solving to identify what was getting in her way and worked together to find solutions. It was not easy, and it was not instant, but it was transformative.

Today, my daughter is thriving. She is compassionate, capable, and grounded. Our journey taught me how to meet children and parents exactly where they are, to work with the brains they have rather than the ones we wish they had, and to build skills systematically with empathy and clarity.

Takeaway I offer parenting coaching because I have lived the fear, the confusion, and the relief of finding a different way, and I want other families to have access to that same shift from control to collaboration.

What makes this coaching different: Heal patterns of disconnection with a coaching model grounded in clinical insight and personal understanding

When you have already tried so many things, it is reasonable to wonder what will actually be different this time. This coaching is intentionally designed to move away from behavior first approaches and toward understanding, accommodation, collaboration, and skill building.

• Meeting your child where they are
  • Your child is not giving you a hard time. They are having a hard time. Their behavior is communication. Their needs are real. Their brain deserves support, not pressure. We start by understanding what is happening beneath the behavior and what skills or accommodations are needed.
  • Takeaway When we meet children where they are, we finally see the path forward.
• Meeting you where you are
  • You are not expected to be perfect. You are not expected to have endless patience or superhuman regulation. You are a human being with a nervous system, a history, and limits. We build strategies that fit your capacity, not someone else’s idealized version of parenting.
  • Takeaway You matter in this process, and your needs shape the plan.
• Accommodating the brain your child has
  • Some children need more predictability. Some need more flexibility. Some need fewer demands. Some need more co regulation. Some need sensory support. Some need more autonomy. We identify what your child’s brain needs to feel safe enough to learn, grow, and connect.
  • Takeaway When we accommodate the brain a child actually has, everything becomes more possible.
• Systematic collaborative problem solving
  • Instead of reacting to behavior, we proactively identify the situations that are hardest for your child. We break them down into specific unsolved problems. Then we collaborate with your child to find solutions that work for both of you. This builds trust, autonomy, and long term skills.
  • Takeaway Collaboration builds skills, strengthens relationships, and reduces conflict.
• Systematic skill building
  • We identify the lagging skills that are contributing to your child’s challenges. Flexibility. Frustration tolerance. Problem solving. Emotional regulation. Executive functioning. Then we build those skills gently, consistently, and in ways that feel safe for your child.
  • Takeaway Skill building is not about forcing maturity. It is about creating the conditions where growth becomes possible.

Why now matters: Shift your family’s trajectory by acting before burnout and disconnection take deeper root

It is normal to wonder whether you should wait, try one more thing on your own, or hope that your child will grow out of it. At the same time, it can be helpful to gently notice what happens when nothing changes.

• The longer you wait the harder it gets
  • When a child’s needs go unsupported, patterns become more entrenched. The same is true for parents. The longer you stay in survival mode, the harder it becomes to climb out of it.
  • Takeaway Early support interrupts patterns that become harder to shift over time.
• You are not broken you are missing the right map
  • Most parenting advice is built around neurotypical assumptions. If your child has big emotions, anxiety, demand avoidance, sensory needs, or a trauma history, those strategies often backfire. You are not broken. You have been using tools that were never designed for your child.
  • Takeaway You do not need to be fixed. You need a map that matches your child’s brain and your family’s reality.
• Burnout is real for both of you
  • When every day feels like a minefield, it is not just your child who is struggling. You are too. Coaching gives you space to pause, reflect, and rebuild your capacity.
  • Takeaway Your nervous system matters as much as your child’s.
• You do not need to wait for permission
  • You do not need a diagnosis, a referral, or a crisis to start making meaningful change. Coaching is accessible now and designed to support you in real time.
  • Takeaway You are allowed to seek support simply because things feel hard and you want more ease and connection.

What you get in coaching: Equip yourself with tools, strategies, and support that meet your child’s needs and honor your own

This coaching package is structured to give you consistent, responsive guidance over three months.

Coaching package overview

• Up to 4 personalized email responses per week delivered within 48 hours.
• Weekly action plans with clear, doable steps.
• Weekly homework for you and your child.
• One 30 minute Zoom or phone session per month.
• Three month commitment for consistency and measurable progress.

Investment

• $450 per month with a three month minimum.
• Total investment $1,350.
• Included each month Up to 16 email responses, weekly plans, homework, and one live session.

Optional add ons

• Additional 30 minute session $75.
• Bundle of three sessions $200.

Takeaway The coaching package combines frequent written support with structured plans and live touchpoints so you feel guided and supported rather than alone and guessing.

Safe and Sound Protocol add on

The Safe and Sound Protocol is an optional nervous system intervention that can deepen the impact of coaching.

What SSP is A gentle, evidence based listening intervention developed by Dr Stephen Porges that uses filtered music to support regulation.

Who SSP may support

• Children with big emotions or chronic stress
• Children with sensory needs
• Children with anxiety or trauma histories
• Parents who feel stuck in survival mode

Details

• One time fee $200.
• Access For the duration of the coaching relationship.
• Delivery Remote or in person when available.
• Includes SSP Core and personalized guidance.

Takeaway SSP is a calming tool that can complement coaching by supporting your child’s or your own capacity for regulation and connection.

Safe and Sound Protocol add on: Regulate your child’s nervous system and deepen co-regulation through this powerful listening intervention 

It is okay if you feel both hopeful and nervous about taking the next step. Change often begins with a small, brave decision to try something different.

Where you can be in three months

• More confident and grounded.
• More connected to your child.
• More equipped with tools that actually work.

Apply now to reserve your spot. Spaces are limited to ensure personalized support.

Takeaway If this coaching feels like a fit, submitting an application is a step toward a calmer, more connected home.

FAQ

What is parent coaching and how is it different from therapy?

Parent coaching is an educational and collaborative service that helps you understand your child’s behavior, build missing skills, and create a calmer home using practical tools you can apply every day. Parenting coaching is forward focused and centered on real life problem solving, not clinical treatment. Therapy involves diagnosis, treatment planning, and clinical intervention that is documented in a medical or mental health record and governed by strict legal, ethical, and licensing requirements. In parent coaching, I am not acting as your child’s clinician. I do not diagnose, treat, or provide medical or mental health care. I cannot write letters for school, court, disability services, or other formal systems. Parent coaching focuses on understanding your child’s nervous system, skills, and needs, and on helping you create routines, expectations, and responses that fit your family. It can complement therapy beautifully, but it does not replace therapy, psychiatry, crisis services, or school based supports.

Will parent coaching actually change my child’s behavior?

Yes, but not through control or consequences. Parenting coaching helps you understand what is driving your child’s behavior and how to support the skills they are missing. When children feel safe, understood, and supported, their behavior changes because they feel capable and connected, not because they fear punishment. This creates real, lasting change.

What if I have already tried everything?

Most families who seek parent coaching feel this way. You are not starting from scratch. You are starting from experience. Parenting coaching is different because it is not about fixing your child. It is about shifting the way you understand them so you can finally work together instead of repeating the same battles. This is where transformation begins.

You are not working directly with my child. How can parent coaching help?

You are with your child in the hardest moments. When you have a clearer map, more regulated support, and concrete tools, your child benefits every single day, not just during a weekly appointment. Parenting coaching strengthens the parent child relationship, which is often the most powerful place to create lasting change.

Why do traditional strategies like timeouts, sticker charts, or consequences not work for my child?

Traditional behavior systems assume the problem is motivation. For many children with big emotions, anxiety, sensory needs, or lagging executive functioning, the real issue is capacity. When a child cannot meet an expectation, removing connection or adding pressure often makes things worse. Parenting coaching helps you understand what is getting in the way and how to build the skills your child needs to succeed.

Why does my child react so strongly to things that seem small to others?

Children with big emotions, sensory sensitivities, anxiety, or lagging executive functioning often experience the world more intensely. What looks like overreaction is usually a sign of overwhelm, not defiance. Parenting coaching helps you understand what is happening beneath the surface and how to support your child’s nervous system, development, and sense of safety so everyday life becomes more manageable.

Is parent coaching only for younger kids?

No. Parenting coaching is effective for toddlers, school aged children, tweens, and teens. Older kids often respond quickly when they feel understood instead of managed. Connection, collaboration, and skill building work at every age.

What if I am the one who needs support, not just my child?

You matter here. Parenting coaching supports your regulation, boundaries, burnout, and capacity. You do not have to disappear in the process of raising a high needs child. When you feel steadier, everything else becomes more possible.

Is gentle parenting only for easy or compliant kids?

No. The children who seem the toughest are often the ones who need gentle, collaborative approaches the most. I have worked with children who have been labeled too much, manipulative, oppositional, or unreachable. I have seen what happens when adults try to control those kids harder, and I have seen what happens when we shift to connection, collaboration, and skill building instead. My own daughter was one of those kids. Her behaviors were intense and constant. We tried every traditional strategy. Timeouts. Consequences. Behavior charts. Ignoring. Nothing worked. Everything escalated. It was not until we stopped trying to control her and started working with her that things began to change. Gentle parenting is not permissive. It is not soft. It is clear, consistent, and deeply respectful. It is about understanding what is driving the behavior and building the skills that are missing. For the so called hard kids, it is often the only thing that works.

What makes your background different from other parenting coaches?

I am a licensed occupational therapist with more than 17 years of clinical experience, and I am also an autistic parent raising neurodivergent children. I understand both the science and the lived reality of parenting a child with big emotions and complex needs. This combination allows me to offer parenting coaching that is clinically grounded, neurodiversity affirming, and informed by real life experience.

How does your occupational therapy background help you as a parenting coach?

Occupational therapy is centered on helping people function in everyday life. I am deeply trained in sensory processing, emotional regulation, executive functioning, motor development, environmental supports, family systems, and behavior in context. OT looks beyond the behavior to understand what is driving it. This foundation allows me to help you create practical, compassionate strategies that fit your child’s brain and your family’s reality.

What makes your approach to parent coaching unique?

My approach blends clinical expertise, lived experience, and original frameworks I developed through years of supporting families. The Tools and Keys model helps parents understand the difference between the strategies we expect children to use and the neurological foundations that make those strategies possible. The ABCEES model looks at Antecedents, Behavior, Consequences, Emotions, Environments, and Skills to understand the full picture of what is happening. The ROAR framework Regulate, Observe, Assist, Revisit guides parents through responding in the moment and problem solving afterward. I also integrate evidence based approaches such as Collaborative Problem Solving and the CO OP method. These tools help families move from conflict to connection and from confusion to clarity.

What should I expect once we begin working together?

You will receive a structured plan, frequent written support, and regular live check ins. You will not be left guessing. Parenting coaching gives you clarity, compassion, and tools tailored to your family’s needs so you can make meaningful changes in real time.

Is this worth the cost?

Only you can decide what is sustainable for your family, and I respect that. Many parents tell me that having a clear map, a place to bring their hardest moments, and concrete next steps has reduced daily conflict, improved their relationship with their child, and helped them avoid more intensive and expensive crisis services. Parenting coaching is an investment in your whole family’s quality of life, not just a set of strategies.

We live in a rural area or cannot find the right provider. Is this for us?

Yes. Parenting coaching is available remotely and is designed to be accessible no matter where you live. If you have limited access to local providers, coaching can help you make the most of what is available, advocate more effectively, and create a home plan that does not depend on weekly in person services.

Why do you require a three month commitment?

Real change takes time. Three months gives us enough space to build trust, understand patterns, experiment with new plans, and adjust based on what actually happens in your real life. It also protects you from the pressure to fix everything in a few weeks and allows us to move at a pace that respects your capacity and your child’s nervous system.

What is email based parent coaching and how can it help?

Email based parenting coaching gives you flexible, written support that you can read and revisit on your own time. You can send questions after a hard morning, a school meeting, or a bedtime meltdown, and receive thoughtful, personalized responses within a predictable window. Many parents find that having things in writing helps them remember, share with partners or co parents, and feel less alone in the moment.

I feel so alone in this. Does anyone else really understand?

Yes. Many parents of children with big emotions and complex needs feel isolated, judged, or misunderstood. You are not the only one having these experiences, even if it feels that way. Parenting coaching offers a space where your perspective is believed, your child is seen as a whole person, and your efforts are honored. You do not have to carry this by yourself.

About Devina King, B.A. Psy, MSOTR/L, ASDCS, ADHD-RSP

Devina is an autistic occupational therapist, parenting coach, author, and credentialed autism and ADHD specialist with over 17 years of experience working with children, specializing in behavioral regulation and neurodivergence. As both a clinician and a parent, she combines professional expertise with personal experience parenting neurodivergent children who previously struggled with behavioral disorders. This unique perspective allows her to bridge the gap between science and real-world application, offering compassionate, evidence-based behavior treatment strategies that empower children to thrive.

You can learn more about Devina's credentials, lived experience, and approach here. 

Publications

Devina has written many books. Her book From Surviving to Thriving: The Art and Science of Guiding Children to Develop Behavioral Regulation available on Amazon here, provides actionable insights for parents, educators, and professionals looking to support children in building essential self-regulation skills. Devina is an AOTA approved professional development provider. Reviewers praise her works for her comprehensive, refreshing and practical, compassionate approach that takes complex psychological concepts and evidence based approach and breaks it down into concepts anyone can understand and apply. Devina has been included in publications such as this article in Psychologist Brief available here and this article in Doctors Magazine available here. Stop by her store here to explore her latest resources, workshops, CEUs and parent coaching sessions designed to help children succeed in their behavioral development journey!