10+ Strategies for Helping Autistic Kids, Kids with ADHD, and Kids with Sensory Processing Difficulties Get Through the Holidays or Special Events

I remember the years when my nephew would come to my house for holiday get-togethers. He would do fine until he started to get overstimulated because we had a large family. Then he would get tearful, hyper, clumsy, etc. He wasn’t being bad, but he was struggling. One time, I brought my mini-trampoline from my room into the living room so he could get some proprioceptive and vestibular input to calm down and regulate. This helped him immensely. From then on, the trampoline lived in my living room, and every time he came to my house he knew he could use it to regulate as needed. This moment reminded me how a little preparation can make a huge difference. These tips should prevent a meltdown but if a meltdown does happen you can find strategies for preventing and handling meltdowns here.  And you can find strategies for recovery after events here.

Author: Devina King, Occupational Therapist and Certified Autism and ADHD Specialist. Last updated: 11/29/2025

Table of contents

• Releasing holiday expectations

• Whatever works for your family

• General tips for all ages

• Supports for little ones (0–5)

• Supports for school‑age kids (6–12)

• Supports for teens (13–18)

• Handling specific situations

• Calming activities and proprioceptive input

• Holiday prep checklist

• FAQ

Releasing holiday expectations

It’s easy to feel pressure about what holidays “should” look like. Let’s release those expectations and focus on what works best for our unique families. Traditions are wonderful, but so is creating a holiday that truly fits your family’s needs. Whether that means skipping the crowded party, enjoying a quiet night in, or wearing pajamas all day, whatever brings joy and peace is what matters most.

Takeaway: Calm, connection, and joy matter more than meeting outside expectations.

Whatever works for your family

There’s no one‑size‑fits‑all approach. If opening presents one by one feels overwhelming, try a more relaxed pace. If certain foods are too hard, focus on safe foods without pressure. Flexibility ensures the holiday feels supportive and affirming.

Takeaway: What works for your family is the right way to celebrate.

General tips for all ages

It’s reassuring to know that simple tools can make big differences. Noise‑canceling headphones, fidget toys, planning ahead, and positivity reduce sensory overload and help children feel prepared. These supports normalize regulation strategies for everyone, so no child feels singled out.

Quick tips

• Bring headphones to noisy events such as parades or crowded dinners

• Offer fidget toys during travel or gatherings, like putty or chewable necklaces

• Discuss holiday plans in advance with photos or visual timelines

• Celebrate small successes daily, such as greeting one guest

• Pack a comfort kit with snacks, water, and sensory tools

• Use familiar routines before and after events to anchor the day

• Practice transitions at home with short role plays

• Keep safe foods available at all times

• Use positive language to frame supports as “family tools”

• Build in recovery time after each event

Takeaway Portable supports and planning reduce surprises and increase success.

Supports for little ones (0–5)

It’s natural for toddlers and preschoolers to feel unsettled in new environments. Concrete visuals and cozy spaces help them feel safe and prepared.

Practical fixes

• Create a safe space tent with pillows, a weighted blanket, and soft music. For example, set up a pop‑up play tent in the corner with fairy lights and a favorite stuffed animal.

• Use visual schedules with picture charts or countdown calendars. A laminated strip showing “wake up, breakfast, drive, visit grandma, open gifts” helps toddlers anticipate what’s next.

• Tell social stories with puppets or personalized photo books. A short story about “going to Auntie’s house, eating one bite, then playing with cousins” makes the day predictable.

• Simplify decorations with soft lights and gradual setup. Avoid flashing lights, and let the child place one ornament or choose a favorite decoration to feel included.

• Practice new routines twice at home before the event. Rehearse sitting at the table with divided trays or wearing headphones during pretend “holiday dinner.”

• Use micro transition songs for moving between activities. A 10‑second “clean‑up song” or “time to eat” jingle makes transitions playful and predictable.

• Offer adaptive utensils like short‑handled forks or straw cups. These tools increase independence and reduce frustration during meals.

• Anchor seating with the same booster, placemat, or cup each year. Familiar items signal safety and consistency.

• Play peek games with covered plates to introduce new foods. Reveal a tiny portion under a napkin as a playful surprise, reducing pressure.

• Provide heavy work warmups like pushing a laundry basket or carrying a small bag. Two minutes of movement before sitting helps regulate energy.

Takeaway Concrete visuals and cozy spaces help toddlers feel secure.

Supports for school‑age kids (6–12)

Children in this age group thrive when routines are predictable and they feel included. Giving them roles and sensory‑friendly activities preserves autonomy and reduces anxiety.

Practical fixes

• Keep consistent routines with bedtime checklists and daily planners. A visual bedtime chart with “brush teeth, read one book, lights out” anchors the day.

• Involve children in baking, setting the table, or wrapping gifts. Giving them a clear job builds purpose and reduces idle stress.

• Offer sensory‑friendly activities like puzzles, bead threading, or quiet crafts at a side table. These provide calm engagement during busy gatherings.

• Schedule breaks in a decompress room or short outdoor walks. A beanbag chair corner or five minutes outside can reset energy.

• Create taste passports with safe foods and one tiny try food. Stickers or stamps for each micro taste make trying new foods playful.

• Use task chunking cards for multi‑step activities. A card saying “take plate, sit, eat two bites” lowers cognitive load.

• Seat children with sightlines to trusted adults and exits. This reduces anxiety and gives them a sense of control.

• Provide noise masking stations with soft playlists. A small speaker playing rain sounds near the table smooths sudden spikes.

• Offer portable choice boards for food and activity options. Laminated boards with icons let children pick independently.

• Assign role ownership such as napkin passer, dessert helper, or photo assistant. Visible responsibility builds confidence.

Takeaway Predictable routines and involvement preserve autonomy and reduce anxiety.

Supports for teens (13–18)

Teens need respect and negotiated control. Open communication validates feelings and builds trust. Including their interests and offering private downtime keeps them engaged without pressure.

Practical fixes

• Use open communication to validate feelings and involve them in decisions. For example, “I know big gatherings feel draining, let’s plan together.”

• Negotiate boundaries with agreed time limits and exit strategies. A contract to stay for two hours with a text check‑in reduces conflict.

• Include interests through hobbies, decorating, or choosing movies. Let them design the playlist or decorate their own space.

• Provide tech time with video calls, calming playlists, or relaxation apps. Scheduled downtime with headphones helps regulate.

• Assign co‑host responsibilities like music queue, photo captain, or social media manager. Visible roles give purpose.

• Offer scent anchors such as preferred sachets or wristbands. A lavender sachet or citrus wristband can counteract strong cooking smells.

• Create social contracts with arrival times and check‑ins. Co‑sign agreements to set expectations clearly.

• Provide discreet regulation tools like slim fidgets, chewables, or lap weights. These fit in pockets and don’t draw attention.

• Rehearse polite exits for confident departures. Practice saying “Thanks, I need a break” so leaving feels like a choice.

• Co‑create menus or seating plans for buy‑in. Involving teens in planning increases ownership.

Takeaway Respect and negotiated control keep teens engaged without pressure.

Handling specific situations

Families often face holiday stressors, but small adjustments prevent overwhelm. Anticipating triggers and pacing activities makes events manageable.

Strategies

• Bring comfort items and set up calm corners when visiting family. A backpack with headphones, snacks, and a favorite toy helps children feel safe.

• Plan shorter visits with clear exit times. Agree in advance to stay two hours, then leave before fatigue sets in.

• Introduce new foods gradually alongside safe favorites. Place one new vegetable next to crackers and fruit.

• Keep safe foods available at all times. A small container of familiar snacks prevents hunger stress.

• Pair new dishes with familiar ones. Serve a new casserole next to mashed potatoes to reduce overwhelm.

• Shop during quiet weekday mornings. Fewer crowds and softer lighting reduce sensory overload.

• Use online shopping to avoid crowds. Ordering gifts at home prevents exposure to noisy environments.

• Take breaks in the car with snacks. A five‑minute reset outside the store can restore calm.

• Explain gift opening step by step. “First unwrap, then thank, then pause” makes the process predictable.

• Limit gifts opened at once and allow pacing. One or two gifts at a time reduces sensory overload.

Takeaway Predictability and small adjustments prevent many common holiday stressors.

You can find specific strategies for Christmas stressors here. And specific strategies for Thanksgiving and holiday meals here.  And strategies for sensory difficulties on the 4th of July here. And strategies to help with Halloween difficulties here.

Calming activities and proprioceptive input

Busy days can dysregulate the nervous system, but short sensory activities restore balance. Proprioceptive input, which means deep pressure or heavy work, helps children of all ages recover. Families can embed these activities into daily routines for natural regulation.

Examples by age

• Little ones (0–5) pillow pile jumps, animal walks, hugs, lotion massage, crawling through tunnels, pushing toy carts, carrying soft bags, rolling on mats, gentle squeezes, rocking in a chair

• School age (6–12) wall push‑ups, mini trampoline, carrying groceries, sweeping, vacuuming, climbing playground equipment, wheelbarrow walks, tug‑of‑war, swimming, bike riding

• Teens (13–18) weighted vest, resistance bands, yoga, gym workouts, rowing machines, hiking, dance routines, push‑ups, sit‑ups, household lifting tasks

Takeaway Short, targeted sensory activities calm the nervous system and speed recovery.

Holiday prep checklist

• Calm corner ready: low light, soft seating, headphones.

• Comfort kit packed: headphones, quiet activity, small object, water.

• Visual timeline posted: near entry and shared with child.

• Plan B exit rehearsed: agreed signal and redirect person.

• Host script prepared: practiced with family allies.

FAQ

What are the most helpful portable supports for holiday events?

Noise‑canceling headphones, a labeled comfort kit, a visual timeline, and one practiced sensory tool are the most effective supports.

How can I stop a sensory meltdown quickly?

Validate the feeling, offer a concrete option such as a calm corner or walk, and use a practiced exit script to remove the child from the trigger.

When should I send a pre‑event note to family?

Send a short message a few days before the gathering explaining boundaries and supports to reduce surprises.

What should be in a comfort kit?

Include headphones, a quiet activity, a preferred small object, a water bottle, and any familiar sleep item.

How can I help my child recover after a busy event?

Offer a predictable recovery routine: sensory play, proprioceptive activity, quiet time with a familiar object, and a warm bath or calming playlist.

About Devina King, B.A. Psy, MSOTR/L, ASDCS, ADHD-RSP

Devina is an autistic occupational therapist, parenting coach, author, and credentialed autism and ADHD specialist with over 17 years of experience working with children, specializing in behavioral regulation and neurodivergence. As both a clinician and a parent, she combines professional expertise with personal experience parenting neurodivergent children who previously struggled with behavioral disorders. This unique perspective allows her to bridge the gap between science and real-world application, offering compassionate, evidence-based behavior treatment strategies that empower children to thrive.

You can learn more about Devina's credentials, lived experience, and approach here. 

Publications

Devina has written many books. Her book From Surviving to Thriving: The Art and Science of Guiding Children to Develop Behavioral Regulation available on Amazon here, provides actionable insights for parents, educators, and professionals looking to support children in building essential self-regulation skills. Devina is an AOTA approved professional development provider. Reviewers praise her works for her comprehensive, refreshing and practical, compassionate approach that takes complex psychological concepts and evidence based approach and breaks it down into concepts anyone can understand and apply. Devina has been included in publications such as this article in Psychologist Brief available here and this article in Doctors Magazine available here. Stop by her store here to explore her latest resources, workshops, CEUs and parent coaching sessions designed to help children succeed in their behavioral development journey!