10+ Strategies for Helping Kids with Autism, ADHD, & Sensory Processing Difficulties Get Through the Holidays or Special Events

I remember the years when my nephew would come to my house for holiday get togethers. He would do fine until he started to get overstimulated because we had a large family. Then he would get tearful, hyper, clumsy, etc. He wasn’t being bad. But he was struggling. One time I brought my mini-trampoline from my room into the living room so he could get some proprioceptive and vestibular input to calm down and regulate. This helped him immensely. From then on, the trampoline lived in my living room and every time he came to my house he knew he could use it to regulate as needed. This moment reminded me how a little preparation can make a huge difference.

Releasing Expectations:

The holidays often come with a set of "shoulds" about what the celebrations ought to look like. Let's release these expectations and focus on what works best for our unique families. Traditions are wonderful, but so is creating a holiday that truly fits your family's needs. Whether that means skipping the crowded party, enjoying a quiet night in, or even wearing pajamas all day—whatever brings joy and peace is what matters most.

Whatever Works for Your Family:

Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to the holidays. Embrace what works for your family, even if it looks different from traditional celebrations. If opening presents one-by-one is too overwhelming, try a more relaxed approach. If certain foods are too hard for your child to try, focus on what they will eat. The key is flexibility and knowing that what brings happiness and calm to your home is perfect just as it is.
So, let's talk about some ways we can make the holiday season magical for our kids with autism, ADHD, or sensory processing difficulties. The holidays can be overwhelming, but with a few thoughtful strategies, we can help create a joy-filled experience for every child.

General Tips for All Ages:

Noise-Canceling Headphones. Or Allow Them to Listen to Preferred Music/Watch Preferred in Headphones:
Bring them to noisy holiday events.
Use them during loud activities like fireworks or parades.
Have them ready when going to busy stores.
Use them at home if the house gets too noisy.
Allow your child to personalize them with stickers or covers.

Fidget Toys:
Keep a selection of fidget spinners, stress balls, and chewy necklaces.
Use them during long car rides or flights.
Bring them to holiday gatherings to help with sensory needs.
Let your child choose their favorite fidget toys to bring along.
Use them as a calming tool during meltdowns or tantrums.

Plan Ahead:
Discuss holiday plans and schedules in advance.
Visit new places beforehand to familiarize your child.
Create a holiday checklist to keep organized.
Set realistic expectations for holiday events.
Prepare for potential sensory triggers and have a plan.

Praise and Positivity:
Celebrate small successes and efforts every day.
Use positive reinforcement for desired behaviors.
Encourage a positive outlook on holiday events.
Create a gratitude journal to reflect on positive moments.
Share positive stories and experiences with your child.
Tell them what to do, instead of what not to do.

For our little ones (0-5 years old):

Create a Safe Space:
A pop-up tent filled with pillows and blankets.
A corner of the room with their favorite stuffed animals and quiet toys.
A sensory bin with calming items like playdough or sand.
A weighted blanket to help them feel secure.
Dim lights and soft, calming music in their safe space.

Visual Schedules:
Picture charts showing the day's events.
A visual timer to help them understand how long activities will last.
Visual cards to explain transitions, like moving from playtime to dinner.
A countdown calendar until special holiday events.
Storyboards to illustrate new or unfamiliar activities.

Practice Social Stories:
Reading stories about holiday traditions.
Watching videos that depict holiday gatherings.
Role-playing scenarios they might encounter, like meeting new people.
Using puppets to act out social situations.
Creating personalized social stories with their own photos.

Simplify Decorations:
Avoiding decorations with strong scents.
Using soft, non-flashing lights.
Keeping decorations minimal to reduce visual overload.
Putting up decorations gradually instead of all at once.
Allowing your child to help decide on decorations to make it fun and engaging.

For our school-age kiddos (6-12 years old):

Consistent Routines:
Keeping bedtime routines the same, even on holiday nights.
Maintaining a consistent morning routine with holiday events added in.
Scheduling regular meal times, even when visiting family.
Using a daily planner to keep track of activities.
Preparing them for changes in routine with plenty of notice.

Involve Them in Preparations:
Letting them help with baking and decorating cookies.
Assigning them specific tasks, like setting the dinner table.
Allowing them to help pick out gifts for family members.
Including them in wrapping presents.
Letting them help make holiday cards.

Sensory-Friendly Activities:
Watching a holiday movie in a quiet, comfortable environment.
Doing quiet holiday crafts like making paper snowflakes.
Listening to holiday music at a low volume.
Building a gingerbread house at home.
Doing a puzzle together.

Breaks and Downtime:
Scheduling breaks during long family gatherings.
Providing a room where they can go to decompress.
Bringing a favorite book or quiet toy for breaks.
Encouraging short walks outside for fresh air and calm.
Allowing screen time during breaks as a calming activity.

For our teens (13-18 years old):

Open Communication:
Discussing holiday plans and asking for their input.
Listening to their concerns and validating their feelings.
Offering reassurance and support.
Involving them in decision-making processes.
Encouraging them to express their needs and preferences.

Set Boundaries:
Helping them set limits on how long they stay at social events.
Allowing them to skip certain activities if they feel overwhelmed.
Providing them with escape strategies if they need a break.
Encouraging them to use coping skills.
Supporting their choices to decline invitations if necessary.

Include Their Interests:
Incorporating their hobbies into holiday traditions, like reading holiday-themed books if they love reading.
Allowing them to help pick out holiday movies to watch.
Engaging in holiday activities related to their interests, like cooking if they enjoy it.
Letting them decorate their own space however they like.
Encouraging them to share their interests with family members.

Tech Time:
Allowing screen time for their favorite games or shows.
Using video calls to connect with friends if they can't be together.
Listening to calming music or podcasts.
Encouraging them to use apps that promote relaxation or meditation.
Allowing them extra time on hobbies like graphic design or coding if they enjoy it.

Strategies for Handling Specific Situations:

Visiting Family's Houses:
Bring along familiar items like their favorite blanket or toy to provide comfort.
Set up a calm-down corner at your relative's place if possible.
Inform family members about your child's needs in advance.
Plan for shorter visits if necessary to avoid overwhelming your child.
Allow your child to explore the house at their own pace.

New Foods:
Introduce new foods gradually and without pressure.
Have their safe foods readily available.
Make new foods more appealing by presenting them creatively.
Include familiar elements in new dishes to ease the transition.

Going to Crowded Stores:
Plan shopping trips during quieter times.
Use online shopping to avoid sensory overload.
Have a clear shopping list to minimize time spent in the store.
Take frequent breaks during the trip.
Prepare them in advance by discussing the trip and its purpose.

Opening Gifts:
Set Clear Expectations: Explain the gift-opening process in advance and let your child know what to expect.
Take Turns Slowly: If taking turns feels overwhelming, allow your child to open gifts at their own pace.
Create a Calm Environment: Dim the lights, play soothing music, and keep the atmosphere as calm as possible.
Provide Breaks: Allow your child to take breaks if they feel overwhelmed by the excitement.
Limit the Number of Gifts: To reduce sensory overload, limit the number of gifts opened at one time.

Calming Activities(Before, During, and After Events)

After a busy day of holiday activities, it’s important to help your child (and yourself) calm their nervous system. If your child has sensory processing difficulties their nervous system may be overwhelmed. Here are some soothing activities to unwind:
Engage in sensory play like playdough or kinetic sand, stress balls, figgets, chewies.
Practice mindfulness or meditation techniques.
Listening to Calming Music: Songs like 'Weightless' by Marconi Union can help reduce stress and anxiety.
Deep Breathing Exercises: Practice deep breathing or use apps that guide relaxation techniques.
Gentle Stretching or Yoga: Incorporate light stretching or yoga poses to release tension.
Warm Baths: A warm bath with calming scents like lavender can help soothe and relax the body.

Proprioceptive Input for All Ages

Proprioceptive activities, which involve deep pressure and heavy work, can have a calming effect on children with sensory needs. Whether used in the moment to help them self-regulate or as preparatory activities to prevent meltdowns, here are some ways to incorporate proprioceptive input:

For our little ones (0-5 years old):
Pillow Pile-Up: Let them jump into a pile of pillows.
Animal Walks: Encourage walking like a bear or crab for heavy work.
Big Hugs: Give them firm, big hugs or use a weighted blanket for deep pressure.
Pushing and Pulling Games: Engage in activities like pushing a large toy truck or pulling a wagon.
Lotion Massage: Apply a firm lotion massage on their arms and legs.

For our school-age kiddos (6-12 years old):
Wall Push-Ups: Have them do push-ups against the wall.
Carrying Groceries: Let them help carry light bags of groceries.
Body Squeezes: Use a body sock or provide firm hand squeezes.
Mini Trampoline: Allow jumping on a small trampoline.
Heavy Work Tasks: Include them in chores like mopping or vacuuming.

For our teens (13-18 years old):
Weighted Vest: Use a weighted vest during stressful times.
Yoga: Practice yoga poses that provide deep pressure.
Resistance Bands: Use resistance bands for stretching exercises.
Gym Workouts: Engage in gym workouts or home exercises like squats and lunges.
Deep Pressure Activities: Offer activities like bear hugs or squeezing a stress ball.

The holidays should be a joyful time for everyone, and with a little extra planning and empathy, we can make sure ALL our kids feel included and supported. Let's share the love and make this holiday season bright and beautiful for every child!

About Devina: Devina is an autistic occupational therapist with over 17 years of experience working with children, specializing in behavioral regulation and neurodivergence. As both a clinician and a parent, she combines professional expertise with personal experience raising neurodivergent children who previously struggled with behavioral disorders. This unique perspective allows her to bridge the gap between science and real-world application, offering compassionate, evidence-based strategies that empower children to thrive.

Her book, From Surviving to Thriving: The Art and Science of Guiding Children to Develop Behavioral Regulation, provides actionable insights for parents, educators, and professionals looking to support children in building essential self-regulation skills. Available in multiple formats you can find it on Amazon. 

Devina also shares her knowledge through expert-led webinars, where she delivers practical guidance tailored to the needs of caregivers and professionals. Stop by her store to explore her latest resources, workshops, and training sessions designed to help children succeed in their behavioral development journey!