Helping Children Manage Emotions: Breathe Think Do, Sensory Activities, and Other Tools

Young children are notorious for not being able to manage their emotions. But emotional regulation is an abstract concept that can be hard to teach. Children can build emotional regulation through co-regulation, interoception, playful deep breathing, Breathe Think Do routines, affirmations, sensory supports, and structured if... then... plans. Research shows these strategies strengthen neurological foundations for resilience and impulse control.

Author: Devina King, Occupational Therapist and Certified Autism and ADHD Specialist Last updated: 12/3/2025

Table of contents

1. Why co-regulation matters
2. What is interoception and why it matters for emotional regulation

3. How Breathe Think Do with Sesame Street monsters supports regulation

4. Playful deep breathing strategies
5. Using affirmations and music
6. Creating if... then... plans

7. Sensory activities and a playful bedtime story to teach emotional literacy and sensory based coping skills

8. FAQ

Why co-regulation matters

Children learn regulation through safe experiences with caregivers. Co-regulation stabilizes stress responses and wires the brain for impulse control.

Co-regulation builds the neurological foundations and plans for self-regulation. Before the age of five, children neurologically do not have the impulse control needed for self regulation. Caregivers provide scaffolding by helping children manage physiological and emotional states. This reduces cortisol, activates the parasympathetic nervous system, and strengthens prefrontal cortex pathways for impulse control. Secure attachment formed through co-regulation builds resilience and emotional stability.

Because impulse control is still developing in early childhood, children need structured opportunities to practice. You can learn strategies to help develop impulse control in From Surviving to Thriving: The Art and Science of Guiding Children to Develop Behavioral Regulation available here and explore practical activities in 10 games and strategies for building impulse control in children here.

I have seen children who struggle with impulse control begin to calm more quickly when a caregiver models slow breathing or offers a predictable sensory tool. Sitting beside a child, narrating your own calm strategies, and showing them how to return to baseline are powerful co-regulation practices. Over time, these repeated experiences become internalized, and children begin to use the same strategies independently.

Takeaway Co-regulation is the bridge between immature nervous systems and independent self-regulation.

What is interoception and why it matters for emotional regulation

Emotional regulation begins with noticing body signals. Interoception helps children recognize early cues before overwhelm.

Interoception is the awareness of internal states such as hunger, fatigue, or rising frustration. Children who struggle with interoception are the ones who go from 0–100 with no in-between. Without awareness of body signals, they cannot intervene until emotions have escalated.

You can learn more about how to build interoception in Chapter 7 of From Surviving to Thriving: The Art and Science of Guiding Children to Develop Behavioral Regulation.

Takeaway Teaching interoception builds awareness and supports proactive regulation.

How Breathe Think Do with Sesame Street monsters supports regulation

Breathe Think Do teaches children to pause, plan, and problem solve, reducing frustration and building resilience.

The Sesame Workshop Little Children Big Challenges initiative helps children ages 2–5 develop resilience and cope with everyday challenges. Research shows that using the toolkit in preschool classrooms significantly improves children’s social-emotional skills, such as emotion regulation, self-control, and adaptability; you can find that study here.

Steps:

1. Breathe Encourage children to take deep breaths to calm down.
2. Think Help them identify their feelings and think of a plan to solve the problem. The app models 3 choices each.
3. Do Encourage them to try out their plan and, if it doesn’t work, think of another solution.

Sesame Street’s Breathe Think Do is available via an interactive app (my preffered method to use with clients) and Breathe Think Do videos on YouTube here. Even just playing the video in the background has been helpful for so many of my kids and families; even if it doesn't appear the child is paying attention they are absorbing more than you think. 

This is one of my go-to choices for teaching children to make safe choices. It gives explicit instruction, models calming down, and shows how to problem solve. Many times just telling a child to take deep breaths does not help because they still have a problem and don’t know how to solve it. It also does not tell what "not to do" (because that actually makes children more likely to do it) it only models safe choices so it removes shame. It encourages children to think of their own plan instead of only following the options provided.

I have seen it help kids as young as 1.5 years old. I have had 2.5-year-old Early Intervention clients start it, and their one-year-old baby sister began doing audible deep breaths when she was frustrated within the month. I have seen 3-year-olds tell their parents to “breathe, think, do” when their parents seemed frustrated.

I like to practice coming up with one “not so good plan” and two “good plans” and talk about how sometimes our first plan is not the best way to handle a problem. We role play this, and it is a fun way to practice the planning skills required for emotional regulation. It also normalizes the feeling of wanting to do a not great plan. I talk to kids about how even as an adult sometimes my first thought is not safe and kind, so I choose a better plan.

Takeaway Breathe Think Do provides explicit modeling of safe choices and flexible problem solving.

Playful deep breathing strategies

Playful breathing games make regulation accessible and fun for children.

Playing respiratory control games helps children practice the ability to take deep breaths and know what deep breathing feels like. Examples include pinwheels, floating ball blower toys, or placing a stuffed animal on their bellies while they lay on their backs and telling them to breathe to give their stuffed animal a magic carpet ride up and down. But not too fast, because the animal is scared of fast rides and might fall off.

I also like to teach children “Birthday Cake Breathing” (smell the frosting, blow out the candles) or High-5 Breathing is a tool I created that my clients have loved that combines deep breathing with affirmations and is a great tool because your child always has their hands with them. Adding htis to a bedtime routine with their parents doing it with them has been the turning point for many of my kids who would shut down if something was hard. The High 5 Breathing tool for helping with self-esteem and anxiety is available in the Regulation-First Bedtime Toolkit available here. 

Takeaway Playful breathing embeds regulation into everyday routines.

Using affirmations and music

Affirmations and prosocial music shape self-talk and reduce aggression.

Numerous studies demonstrate the efficacy of self-affirmations or messages played in the background to impact behavioral change. Greitemeyer reviewed five studies that revealed prosocial music exposure decreased aggressive thoughts and behavior; you can find the study here. 

Daniel Tiger songs are great for teaching young children what to do and this is why. You can find more ways to use music to help with behavioral regulation and daily routines here.

The messages children consistently hear become their self-talk. We can incorporate affirmations, strategy songs, or the if then strategy into our days by guiding our children in saying them every day or recording them and playing them in the background. There are a lot of free affirmation maker apps available. You can find my favorite affirmations songs and ways to incorporate them into morning routines here. 

Listening to music or a metronome set at 60 BPM calms the nervous system; you can find Berger's study here. The steady rhythm provides stability and predictability, which helps children focus and relax.

Takeaway Background affirmations and rhythm build emotional resilience.

Creating if... then... plans

If... then... plans reduce cognitive load and create automatic regulation responses.

The “if... then...” technique (otherwise known as implementation intentions) is powerful for changing habits and ensuring consistent behavior. A meta-analysis by Gollwitzer and Sheeran 2006 comprehensively reviewed the literature on the “if... then...” strategy, including 94 studies, and found this strategy to be particularly effective; you can find the studey here.

By setting up predetermined responses to specific triggers or situations, you remove the need for decision-making in the heat of the moment when your stressed brain may not function optimally. You can find specific strategies for specific behaviors youo may encounter with your child here to help you create your if...then... plans.

Steps to create if... then... plans

1. Start by identifying the specific goal you want to achieve or the habit you want to change.

2. Anticipate the obstacles or challenges that may arise along the way.

3. Create an if then statement for each obstacle that outlines how you will respond.

4. Ensure your statements are precise and actionable, leaving no room for ambiguity.

Examples

• If I feel angry, then I’ll take a deep breath and count to ten before responding.

• If my child hits, then I will gently hold their hands and say “gentle hands.”

Teaching children to make and use if... then.... plans

Children can be guided to create their own if then plans in playful, concrete ways:

• Model the process aloud: Caregivers can narrate their own if then plans in daily life. For example, “If I spill my water, then I’ll grab a towel.” This shows children how to connect triggers with responses.

• Use visual supports: Create simple charts or cards with “If… then…” statements. For younger children, pair words with pictures (e.g., a picture of a sad face with “If I feel sad, then I’ll hug my stuffed animal”).

• Practice in calm moments: Role play scenarios when children are regulated. For example, act out a situation where a toy breaks and practice saying, “If my toy breaks, then I’ll ask for help instead of yelling.”

• Embed in routines: Encourage children to use if... then... plans during predictable transitions. For instance, “If it’s bedtime, then I’ll brush my teeth and read a story.”

• Normalize mistakes: Talk about how sometimes our first plan is not the best one. Practice coming up with one “not so good plan” and two “good plans” so children learn flexibility and problem solving.

I have seen children quickly adopt if... then... plans when they are practiced consistently and reinforced with modeling. Over time, these statements become automatic, helping children stay composed and on track toward achieving their desired behavior change.

From Surviving to Thriving: The Art and Science of Guiding Children to Develop Behavioral Regulation has a resource at the end that has a list of affirmations that combine affirmations, DBT skills, and if... then... statements that can be said daily together as part of a morning routine, bedtime routine, or on the way to or from school.

Takeaway If... then... plans make regulation automatic under stress and can be taught to children through modeling, visuals, role play, and consistent practice.

Sensory activities and a playful bedtime story to teach emotional literacy and sensory based coping skills

Sensory strategies make emotional regulation playful and accessible.

The ABCs of Feelings: Sensory Solutions for Every Feeling teaches over 80 sensory-based strategies with calming, poetic storytelling and vibrant illustrations (available here). Guided by Mindful Mindy the DBT Dino, children explore emotions, build vocabulary, and learn self-regulation in a joyful, engaging way.

The book includes a Feelings Wheel with expressive faces to support emotional literacy and communication. Its gentle rhythm is intentionally regulating, offering a soothing cadence that mirrors the calming tools it teaches. The audiobook is read at 60 BPM, combining DBT, emotion coaching, metronome rhythm, and prosocial messages. Listening at night is especially effective, because whatever you hear before bed is consolidated into memory.

Through rhythmic stanzas and engaging illustrations, children learn to identify, explore, and manage emotions. Each letter introduces a feeling such as anger, excitement, or joy, paired with practical tools that promote self-regulation and emotional resilience. From squeezing clay to twirling in delight or curling up under a blanket, kids discover calming techniques they can use every day.

Sensory tools as mindfulness for children

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) emphasizes four core skill areas: mindfulness, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, and emotional regulation. A scoping review of DBT interventions in juvenile correctional and detention facilities found positive outcomes such as reductions in aggression, improvements in mental health, and strong feedback from both youth and staff; you can find the article here. These findings highlight the effectiveness of DBT skills in teaching regulation and resilience.

Sensory-based coping tools are a child-friendly way to introduce mindfulness, one of DBT’s foundational skills. When children squeeze clay, rock gently, or focus on the rhythm of their breath, they are practicing present-moment awareness. These activities anchor attention to the body and environment, helping children notice sensations and regulate emotions without judgment. For autistic children and other neurodivergent kids, sensory mindfulness provides predictable, concrete pathways to calm that feel safe and accessible.

By embedding sensory strategies into play, caregivers and educators can teach mindfulness in ways that are developmentally appropriate and engaging. Instead of abstract meditation, children learn to regulate through movement, touch, rhythm, and sensory exploration. This makes DBT’s mindfulness skill set tangible and joyful for young learners.

Takeaway Sensory tools transform emotional overwhelm into joyful self-discovery and serve as accessible mindfulness practices for children.

Sensory activities for emotional regulation

Children thrive when emotional regulation feels playful and concrete. Here are practical sensory activities you can try with your child to make emotional regulation playful, concrete, and easy to use at home or school.

Touch and texture

• Squeeze playdough, clay, or stress balls
• Run fingers through rice, beans, or kinetic sand
• Wrap up in a weighted blanket or body sock
• Finger paint with washable paints
• Use fidget toys (pop-its, squishies, textured rings)
• Rub lotion into hands slowly, noticing the sensation
• Stroke a pet’s fur or brush a doll’s hair
• Play with water beads or gel packs

Movement and balance

• Rock gently in a chair or swing
• Do “animal walks” (bear crawl, crab walk, frog jump)
• Stretch tall like a tree, then curl small like a seed
• Jump on a mini trampoline
• Try yoga poses (child’s pose, downward dog, tree pose)
• Crawl through a tunnel or under a blanket fort
• Roll across the floor like a log
• Practice “slow motion walking” to calm down
• Push against a wall with hands (isometric calming exercise)
• Swing at the playground or in a hammock

Sound and rhythm

• Clap or tap to a steady beat
• Shake maracas or rhythm sticks
• Listen to calming music or a metronome at 60 BPM
• Play a drum or tap rhythms on a table
• Hum or sing favorite songs softly
• Listen to nature sounds (rain, ocean waves, birds)
• Use a rainstick or chimes for soothing auditory input
• Chant simple mantras or rhymes in rhythm
• Practice a “sound scavenger hunt” — notice and name three sounds around you

Smell and taste

• Smell calming scents like lavender or peppermint
• Sip warm cocoa or herbal tea slowly
• Chew crunchy snacks mindfully (carrots, pretzels)
• Smell scented markers or scratch-and-sniff stickers
• Bake cookies and enjoy the aroma before tasting
• Try sour candies for alertness (yellow zone regulation)
• Sip warm broth or soup slowly
• Smell citrus fruits like oranges or lemons for energy
• Use calming essential oils (lavender, chamomile) with supervision

Visual and imagination

• Watch a glitter jar settle
• Follow a flashlight beam across the wall
• Imagine floating on a cloud or swimming with dolphins
• Watch a lava lamp or slow-motion video
• Trace mandalas or color calming patterns
• Look at picture books with soothing illustrations
• Watch clouds drift and imagine shapes
• Use a “feelings thermometer” chart to visualize intensity
• Dim lights or use colored bulbs to shift mood
• Watch snow globes settle

Breath and body awareness

• Blow bubbles slowly and watch them drift
• Pretend to blow up a balloon with deep breaths
• Place a stuffed animal on the belly and watch it rise and fall
• Pretend to blow out birthday candles one by one
• Inhale deeply, then “buzz” like a bee on the exhale
• Practice “square breathing” (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4)
• Lie down and do progressive muscle relaxation (tense and release each body part)
• Place hands on heart and belly, notice rise and fall
• Try “hot cocoa breathing”: pretend to smell cocoa (inhale) then blow to cool it (exhale)

Takeaway Sensory play gives children concrete tools to calm their bodies and manage emotions in everyday life.

Zones of regulation connection

Parents and caregivers can use the Zones of Regulation framework to help children categorize feelings into four color-coded zones and match them with the right sensory strategies. This makes it easier for kids to recognize their emotions and choose tools that support regulation.

• Blue Zone: Sad, tired, bored. Use calming sensory tools like rocking, cuddling a blanket, humming softly, smelling lavender
• Green Zone: Calm, focused, ready to learn. Use playful tools like bubble breathing, coloring mandalas, listening to gentle music
• Yellow Zone: Frustrated, silly, excited. Use grounding tools like wall pushes, sour candy, trampoline jumps, drumming rhythms
• Red Zone: Angry, out of control. Use cooling tools like squeezing clay, glitter jar watching, deep balloon breaths, retreating to a quiet corner, resistive activities like wall pushes, heavy work activities, or punching a pillow or yelling into a pillow.

One of my favorite ways to introduce this framework is through this Zones of Regulation video, available here.

Takeaway The Zones of Regulation give children a simple language to connect feelings with the right coping strategies.

Learning more about sensory systems

Every child experiences the world through their sensory systems in unique ways. Some are sensory seekers, craving more input through touch, sound, or movement, while others are sensory avoiders, preferring less stimulation and needing quieter, gentler strategies. Understanding whether your child is a seeker or avoider helps you choose activities that truly support regulation rather than overwhelm.

You can learn more about each sensory system, how avoiders and seekers respond, and find tailored activities for them in Chapter 7 of From Surviving to Thriving: The Art and Science of Guiding Children to Develop Behavioral Regulation. This chapter provides practical guidance for parents and educators to match strategies to a child’s sensory profile, making regulation more effective and individualized.

Takeaway Knowing whether your child is a sensory seeker or avoider helps you choose the most effective regulation tools.

FAQ

How do I teach a child deep breathing without making it feel forced?

Use playful cues such as bubbles, pinwheels, or Birthday Cake Breathing. Keep practice short and model it yourself.

What is the Breathe Think Do strategy and how do I use it?

Guide children to breathe, think of a plan, and try it out. Practice during small frustrations first.

How can I coach emotions without dismissing feelings?

Name the feeling, validate it, and then guide the child toward regulation with supportive language.

What if my child refuses to use calming strategies?

Respect refusals and offer choices. Present two options so the child feels agency and safety.

How do I know if my child is ready for self-regulation?

Look for signs such as pausing before reacting, using words to describe feelings, or choosing a calming tool.

How can I make emotion regulation practice part of daily life?

Embed strategies into routines a deep breath before meals, a calm corner after school, or bedtime reflection.

What role does play have in teaching regulation?

Play provides safe practice. Games like balloon breathing or role playing problem solving make skills fun.

How do I respond when my child’s emotions overwhelm me too?

Model regulation by pausing, taking your own breath, or stepping away briefly. Narrate your process aloud. You can learn more strategies in chapter 1 of From Surviving to Thriving: The Art and Science of Guiding Children to Develop Behavioral Regulation.

About Devina King, B.A. Psy, MSOTR/L, ASDCS, ADHD-RSP

Devina is an autistic occupational therapist, parenting coach, author, and credentialed autism and ADHD specialist with over 17 years of experience working with children, specializing in behavioral regulation and neurodivergence. As both a clinician and a parent, she combines professional expertise with personal experience parenting neurodivergent children who previously struggled with behavioral disorders. This unique perspective allows her to bridge the gap between science and real-world application, offering compassionate, evidence-based behavior treatment strategies that empower children to thrive.

You can learn more about Devina's credentials, lived experience, and approach here. 

Publications

Devina has written many books. Her book From Surviving to Thriving: The Art and Science of Guiding Children to Develop Behavioral Regulation available on Amazon here, provides actionable insights for parents, educators, and professionals looking to support children in building essential self-regulation skills. Devina is an AOTA approved professional development provider. Reviewers praise her works for her comprehensive, refreshing and practical, compassionate approach that takes complex psychological concepts and evidence based approach and breaks it down into concepts anyone can understand and apply. Devina has been included in publications such as this article in Psychologist Brief available here and this article in Doctors Magazine available here. Stop by her store here to explore her latest resources, workshops, CEUs and parent coaching sessions designed to help children succeed in their behavioral development journey!